Good news first. My son is fine. It’s your typical migraine and we aren’t even going to put him on a preventative as long as it doesn’t get any worse. The last few times he started getting a migraine we were able to give him his medicine fast enough that he recovered within the hour. We will continue this course of treatment.

Bad news. Darby didn’t get any better. He didn’t get up from his spot. He even urinated on himself rather than get up. We carried him up stairs, gave him a bath to get a better look at the wounds, and found his leg so terribly swollen we couldn’t even see a wound.

My husband took him to the Vet this evening, where they said it looks like he has been bit multiple times over a long period of time. His leg is so infected he’s in danger of loosing the limb. We told her that as recent as last week we all went on a walk and he was fine. She said she’s not surprised, they are very stoic animals and will hide their pain.

He requires IV fluids and antibiotics. They wanted to keep him through the weekend. The best they could do for the cost of that is $500. Even after that, he still has a 50/50 chance of loosing his leg, or not recovering at all…

Furthermore, the Vet advised my husband that seizures progress worse in Golden Retrievers than any other breed. They progressively get worse, requiring more and more medicine. I think they were trying to let us off the hook. It doesn’t make me feel any better about the decision facing us.

I just got off the phone with my husband. He’s applied for assistance and we were not approved. He’s there, alone. I’m here with the kids.

I told him to say goodbye to Darby. We cannot pour money into extensive medical care for a pet, whose quality of life will continue to suffer even if he recovers. We would be forced to separate him from the other dogs, for his protection. When he’s well he’s so anxious on the phenobarbital that he paces when he’s indoors.

Darby had crawled up under the porch to die. That’s probably why my husband had to drag him out last night. We are respecting his wishes and letting him go without anymore pain.

I can’t write anymore. I can’t proofread. I’m too sad.

I love this dog.

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